38,

two weeks of cooperation therewith, Mother began a campaign to give me public self-confidance and acceptance as a girl. At first she merely asked me to answer the doorbell where I had fleeting contacts. I answered the phone talking so the listen- er would think I was a girl. Then we progressed from short and most sedate walks and little trips in the car to fully nub lic appearance in places like stores. The education was done so skillfully and gradually that I never really knew that it was taking place and in time, as I learned there was no question about me, I began to forget the "sissy" fear. This gradual in doctrination added to the fact that I v never b en questioned even in the slightest, has mad me feel perfectly at home as a girl I am never conscious of having to act like one or to watch for betraying masculinity. But all that wasn't achieved in a short time. My training went on for years. right up to the time of Mother's death.

Now to return to the story: After I adopted the course of cooperation Mother, as I said gave active support in return but not in such a way that I was particularly conscious of it. She was too smart for that. She gave me so many nice things that it was impossible not to be interested in them. Then by artful suggestions and questions she gave me a deep interest in my personal appearance aside from the clothing. I soon re- alized that authentic appearance and mannerisms would be my great at protection from my then very acute fears. So I did my best to learn everything feminine I could. I ve always learned easily, so it wasn't long before I could do my hair as well as Mother and get a wholly natural effect with make up. Not that a 12 year old girl ever uses much of it if her Mother can prevent it, but mine realized that a bit of added authenticity and interest was in order. Of course, it made Patsy insanely jealous for she was permitted no regular make- up, Too, as time passed, my short bob grew to shoulder length. It seemed most becoming and I wore it that way for years. I find that an upswept hairdo is better.

By Thanksgiving, which was a couple of months after I was put in dresses permanently, I was becoming fairly adept at things feminine...we were invited over to the E...s for dinner. I can clearly remember the things I wore that day.

Now